For the last couple days, I have been so sad when I go into my good friend Bastiaan's stall. Is it because he is ready to go? Is it because I chose to continue with Mia instead of him (for that was a bad choice if so, for I'd' rather ride him, but he's not always sound). What is it that makes us want what isn't? I am going to an animal communicator tomorrow. I'll let you know what she says....

Recently I have become saddle obsessed again. I know that I believe it will suddenly alter my riding abilities, as I get the sense that I am unbalanced in my current, Courbette. Being a rather "sensitive to detail" type person, it is my belief that I feel overly responsible for my lack of balance when it's really due to my saddle. I am on a budget and don't currently have my own horse. Both reasons to not buy a hugely expensive saddle. However, I did buy the Courbette Alpina for that reason, and still really like the looks of it. But am not happy with the way it sits on the horses. And I do ride a number of differently shaped horses. The self-adjusting tree, may very well be sitting on their backs after I post in it for awhile.

Although I've read it before, the idea finally really sunk in yesterday. Mary Wanless says that there is conditioned responses and instinctual. (I am going to use my own language so I truly interpret my own meaning.) A conditioned response would be a learned one, such as when a horse learns to follow the cue of picking up a canter when the rider does such and such. An instinctive response is one that the horse can not easily avoid due to the balance and "set-up" of the rider. So my new goal is to ride in such a manner that I provoke instinctive responses rather than conditioned. And this would be done, not be following a prescribed leg here-hand there. But by fully engaging all of my body, weight, mind and balance in order to bring the horse to carry himself instinctively well. This idea is newly forming in my brain, so it will take some time to translate it, both by words and on a horse.

How to make it a goal is a question, for how would I determine that it has been accomplished?

After reading and relating to the Zen and Horseback Riding website, I finally purchased the book. It is a wirebound book, that appears to be inconsequential. However, the exercises bring out a greater understanding of what the masters elusively refer to as following the horse with your seat. For this writer it is all about our psoas muscles. These muscles are located deep in the abdomen on both sides of the lower spinal vertebrae. They are so deep we do not see them, and rarely hear about them. They are the only muscles that attach the spine to the legs. And from a symbolic standpoint alone, it can be seen as the one connection between the top (rider) and the bottom (horse), of the one entity as a pair. Perhaps when a horse and rider do not seem connected, this is due to a lack of psoas muscle use? Or lack of connection between top and bottom. In this book, there are many simple but effective exercises for increasing your awareness of your psoas muscle. I would recommend it to anyone that is interested in becoming one with their horse. It is not just about riding exercises, it is about practicing efficient use of breath and posture on and off a horse. Take a look and let me know what you think....

Prior to working at the tack shop, I assumed that if I worked there, everything would come home with me. However, it's been just the opposite. Besides buying some bell boots, I haven't purchased anything. It is still the same scenerio as when I'd go in with some extra money. The amount I had to spend rarely added up to as much as sum price of all the things I wanted. And I seemed to be unable to narrow down the wants, so ended up with nothing. This may reflect my tendency towards ambiguity. (Which can be a hindrance to riding well.) But I like to think of it as thrifty, which I heard yesterday stemmed from the meaning "to thrive." If ambiguity has a negative influence, how does being thrifty effect my riding? My intrepretation is, as a thriving individual I rely on my own devices, rather than searching for a product to miraculously shape me into a perfect rider.