It seems in life, I have reached an age—a stage—where I have gathered enough understanding, enough information, to move forward in my own design. It's time to begin to use that knowledge along with my own inner compulsions to move in the flow of life—my life. This transition is not easy to follow through with, as it takes a huge amount of commitment and awareness. The gathering of information has become a habit, as well as a state of mind.

As one who was born with the self-doubt gene, I find it challenging to stay clear, concise, consistent and confident. All characteristics of a good horseman. Through a lack of these characteristics, I look elsewhere for answers. And just as I know it's time to look inside b/c I have enough knowledge to pull from, I don't really know what that means. How do I follow that? How do I live out my inner speaking? Living outwardly my inner world? How do I accept the fact that I already am doing so? By being aware. Aware of my emotions, of my actions, of when I am working on rote and when I am actually in my body living from authenticity?

What I will do first with Tom is to be REALLY aware of the subtle exchanges that are taking place between us. Not just through the lens of what someone else has told me such behavior means. But also through the feeling I get from the bahavior. I am, along with Tom, very sensitive. I tend to disregard the benefits of this characteristic, and instead simply use it in order to "fit in" in different situations. It's time to use it for other reasons, and to trust it. As it has been a lifelong practice I have used and taken for granted.