One of my mild obsessions is books. I love them and the information they share. This has been the case for as long as I can remmeber. In elementary school it was the Weekly Reader, the book mobile and the Scholastic book catalog (which I think had an actual name that I have since forgotten) that brought me the greatest joy and comfort. In reading I look to find answers for how to _____. Some examples of how I fill in that blank are ... live life in the flow, trust my intuition and see the symbolic meaning of life's circumstances. The how-to that has me hooked currently is training horses. And the ones that really get my interest are those that explain methods to create better relationships with our horse. Every time I see the description of such a book, it feels as though that it is the one which will turn my life around—will create such a bond between me and Tom that we are able to do just about anything together. And so I buy it.

Once I own the 'miracle' book, it often becomes clear that it doesn't actually have new information. Instead it is a compilation of different words this particular trainer has put together to explain their methods. Which underneath the words is often the same method as the last author's book.

I have a very good relationship with my husband and dog. I do not feel a need to read books on how to interact with them, I feel it out and correct where necessary. I am lucky to have both a husband and a dog that are willing partners in creating harmonious relations based on equality. So why is it, I wonder, that I feel a need for another person's ideas to create the same kind of relationship with my horse? (Who, by the way, also happens to be looking for a fair and authentic partner to create a loving relationship with. I know that about him in my bones and is exactly why I said yes to begin our journey together.) The answer lies in a lack of trust in myself coupled with an ego-based desire to do it right.

When I recognized that I needed to find my own way based on my internal workings, I got annoyed at myself for having wasted money on so many books. But the truth is, we need to read (or listen) to other people's ideas in order to come up with our own. I will never abolish my love of books and information. However, what I need to remember is that it is not the books that make the partnership. It's my actual interactions with Tom, both positive and negative that create the relationship. Reading the book is the easy part, then it takes constant practice in awareness, consiousness and follow through to manifest thoughts into actions.