Never mentioning where I am in the horse purchasing arena. I fell more and more in love with Cruiser. I remembered more the moments that were perfectly in harmony, and less the ones there were not. I remembered the sweet moment when he placed his nose at my chest to let me know he was fond of my heart. And I fell harder with each memory.

Then I received the email saying Kim got an offer on him, and I was terribly upset. Not so much because he was being sold, but because I did not feel that I had done enough to prove to the Gods that I did say yes. Although I said yes with some contingents, mainly that he be sound. I felt like I was sitting back and waiting for it to all happen for me. I felt the universe request that I move forward with what I wanted, but didn't know how to do that. So I waited for things to fall into place. It as this that made me feel such a strong sense of distress when he was supposedly sold. I acted on that distress, calling and emailing Kim. She said she would give me first right of refusal. I could come again and video tape it. I was going to move forward, but did need to have a vet check. And then she cancelled again. This time I could accept that it was the universe taking care of me, not me being complacent. And that I can accept. I do want the best for Cruiser, and if that means he go to someone else, so be it. I trust the way the world works, but only when I am fully participating in it as well.