Horses are both rewarding and frustrating. I try to remain open to the feelings of the horse. And in so doing, find myself barely riding for fear of hurting them. On the one hand, I can understand how hard it must be to carry humans around on your back every day. As I have back problems from carrying a purse around every day. And when that purse's weight is unevenly distributed, it is all the more uncomfortable. My husband mentioned the other day, after hearing about a woman falling off and feeling down about her riding, that horseback riding seems to be bad for self confidence levels. "Perhaps not when you are learning as a child. But for you adults." And I do wonder about the truth in that. A good friend of mine used to ride for fun, without taking lessons. I mentioned how in a way I was envious, as I get so down on myself after a lesson. All you hear are the negative things you do, so as to get yourself out of the habit of doing them. She is now taking lessons and falling into the "I suck at riding" mind trap. And so it is that I try to find methods that will improve my riding. A new saddle perhaps, a new pad, a book that will explain. And yet, the more I think and ruminate over it, the more aware of my bad habits I become. Not allowing me to overcome the ineffective riding, but stuck in it. As I write four baby red squirrels sit under my bird feeder. So small and cute, tense about every little noise as it is all new to them. Squirrels are often finding nourishment and hiding it for an appropriate time, when needed. And so it is for my riding skills. I gather all this information and hide it until it is time for it to flourish. Perhaps it will later become a meal to eat. Or the growth of a new oak tree.